Dedication: This one's for Wendi and jenn, who spent much AIM time listening to me extol the virtues of Wet!Clark. They not only refrained from smacking me about the head to get me to shut up about it, they also fed my fixation *g*

Lex hadn't realized that Clark was still capable of surprising him to this degree, but true shock hits him like a hammer to the chest when he looks through the French doors into the garden. He blinks, thinking this must be a mirage painted by the water flowing steadily down the glass panes of the door, so he opens them. The wind is blowing in the direction of the house, and spatters of cool rain prick lightly at Lex's face and dot his clothing in scattered patterns that gradually merge into a single, darkening color.

The image remains unchanged, merely gaining focus without the glass barrier. Clark -- standing out on the back lawn in the middle of a downpour, stripping off a necktie and throwing it on the ground, jacket following soon after. Tension of various kinds vibrating off him like magnetic waves, and it draws Lex forward from the safety of the house and into the storm.

He doesn't even consider walking away, despite the nagging suspicion that he's trespassing more than Clark is. There is ground more hallowed than that of real estate being crossed, but Lex can't stop himself, can't subdue the urge to offer solace and counsel. In most cases, he finds the suffering of others to be either amusing or boring, but not Clark's.

And Clark is clearly suffering. Even from halfway across the lawn, Lex can see it. It's in the obvious shaking of Clark's hands as he tries to unbutton the drenched white dress shirt. It's in the low growl that emits when his fingers slip for the third time on the fourth button and he pulls the fabric to vent his rage. Buttons flying free as he strips off the ruined shirt and drops it to the ground.

Lex suddenly notices the feeling of wet grass squelching under his bare feet as he crosses the lawn. He'd forgotten that he took off his shoes when he'd come in the house.

Clark has dropped to his knees, head tilted forward and rainwater dripping off his hair. The white t-shirt is clinging to his back, and he doesn't seem to be aware of Lex's presence at all. "Clark?"

No answer, not even a subtle indication of shock, so maybe Clark actually had sensed Lex breaching the solitude. He slowly walks around in front of Clark and crouches. Reaching out, then drawing the hand back before touching, because he has no idea what Clark needs. "Clark, what happened?"

The chin raises slowly, rivulets of moisture coursing down Clark's face, eyes more bleak than Lex had ever seen them or expected to. It's like another punch in the gut. "I'm tired, Lex."

And he sounds it, too. Lex has heard that sound in his own voice before, but never Clark's. Never Clark, who seems to have an endless reserve of positive energy at all times, so much so that Lex has on occasion considered looking for a method to synthesize and bottle it. It's as if that's all been drained away -- Clark sounds weak and desperate. He seems... lost, and Lex has never been good at giving himself focus when he's like that, let alone someone else. "Tired?"

"Yeah. Tired of being confused. Tired of feeling guilty. Completely sick and fucking tired of all this responsibility. I don't *want* it! It's too much."

Though he's not sure which specific responsibility Clark is referring to, he can empathize more than Clark probably realizes. But... this isn't about Lex, and for once, that's not a problem. This isn't the time for pithy anecdotes about Luthor child rearing techniques. "I know."

Clark's eyelids drift shut for a second, and when they raise, Lex sees a little less hopelessness there. "That's why I came here. I knew you'd understand. You're the only one who does."

Lex shifts, kneeling to take the pressure off his calves, sinking into the muddy turf with complete disregard for anything other than understanding what's going on with Clark. "You want to tell me what brought this on?"

Clark grits his teeth, and the answer, when it comes, sounds strained. "One funeral too many."

Thus explaining the suit rapidly becoming a ruination on Lex's lawn. Not to say that funerals are a rare occurrence in Smallville -- the morticians and gravestone carvers must make a killing (ha-ha, inappropriate humor) in this town. Lex realizes that Clark's seen far more death than a normal seventeen-year-old would, but that doesn't explain why he's looking so *broken*. "Was it a friend?"

Clark's shoulders quiver, breath hissing on an unsteady exhale, but Lex can tell it's an emotional chill rather than a weather related one. "Not even close. I barely knew him."

"Then I don't-"

"It was my fault. He's dead, and I'm to blame."

Clark has raised self-reproach to an art form, so it's not surprising to hear the irrational guilt. Being expected doesn't make it possible for Lex to suppress the fatalistic sigh, though. "Clark, we've had this discussion how many times? You can't save everyone-"

Green eyes blaze briefly as they meet his, anger and pain momentarily exorcising the ghost of shame before it makes itself at home again. "He wasn't someone I didn't save, Lex. I killed him."

And that's twice in less than an hour that Clark has shocked Lex into breathless silence. Simply staring into that desolate, unblinking gaze and wondering what's reflecting on his own face beyond stunned disbelief. Clark had *killed* someone? Gut reaction is screaming 'not possible', but Clark's expression is telling a different story entirely. Has to come to grips with this and fast, because he can feel Clark stiffening by the second -- dread freezing him from the inside out, and Lex needs to *say* something, damn it. "Clark-"

Before he can continue, Clark jumps to his feet and starts pacing. "I've always tried to be so *careful*, even when I was stopping someone. I thought I would only knock him out when I threw him."

Although Clark is still talking, Lex loses track of the words as he tries to come to grips with what Clark just revealed. Thankful that he had remained kneeling instead of standing when Clark did, because it saved him the ignominy of collapsing to his knees from the jolt of Clark's words, repeating as a litany inside his head:

-- I threw him --

Lex had known about Clark's "gifts" before this, simply from the fact that he isn't willfully blind to what happens around him. Feigned innocence and clumsy evasions weren't enough to impose ignorance on Lex, despite the fact that Clark had obviously been under the impression that they were. What is rocking Lex to the core is that this is the first time Clark has directly mentioned one of his abilities. Lex's mental floundering leads him to realize that he'd been perversely comforted by the stability of the lies, despite how much he'd hated them.

Shaking it off and forcing himself to listen to what Clark is saying, "I just got so *angry*. I didn't..."

For God's sake, Lex. There's something more important than revelations going on here. Clark has...

He can't even think the words again -- it's still too surreal to accept completely. Belief is irrelevant. The repercussions and protecting Clark from them have to be the top priority. He stands, placing himself in Clark's path and bracing his palms against the wide shoulders to stop the incessant, distracting movement. "Tell me exactly what happened, Clark. I need to know everything."

Clark blinks at him, hand coming up to rub at the back of his neck. Lex is already thinking of payoffs and which criminal lawyers he has on retainer when Clark starts speaking. "You remember those earthquakes we had last week?"

Lex snorts softly. "How could I forget? My body shop is still working on the Aston."

"Well, that was him. He could make the earth move just by willing it to happen. Chloe has a theory about plate tectonics and meteor exposure... Anyway, Mom saw him do it the first time, and he saw her. He managed to track her down to the farm, and he was... he was trying to bury her in a rockslide down in Schuster's gorge when I found them. I... I shoved him and grabbed Mom and ran. Once she was safe, I went back and... He was dead, Lex. I broke his neck."

Lex had relaxed a little more as each piece of the puzzle fell into place. No wonder Clark isn't in jail. Even the idiots that run the Smallville PD must have seen it as a clear-cut case of self defense. "It's all right, Clark. You did what you had to do to save someone you care about. Obviously, the police agreed-"

"They don't know."

Lex takes a second to process that. Given that Clark had gone to the man's funeral, it's obvious that the body had been found. No one was declared dead within a week of disappearing without a corpse as proof. "What did you tell them?"

"I didn't tell them anything. When I realized he was dead, I... I piled boulders on top of the body. When he was found, they assumed he'd been killed in the rockslide." Clark's eyes clench shut and he rubs them. Lex can almost smell the moist salt on Clark's skin being washed away by the rain. "I killed him. I broke a human being with my bare hands and I covered it up. I'm..."

Voice trailing off, and from the expression on Clark's face when he meets Lex's eyes, he's suddenly realizing what he's said. Lex holds the eye contact. "It's okay, Clark."

Clark sinks slowly to the ground, as though his legs can't bear to hold his weight anymore. "It's not okay. You must think I sound insane."

"No, I don't. I understand-"

"How can you?" Clark curses under his breath, jaw clenching as he raises his eyes again. "I would've had to have been honest with you for what I've said not to sound like the rantings of a delusional freak."

Clark on his knees, looking up at Lex like a penitent begging absolution, and Lex drops back to the ground to demolish that uncomfortable imagery. "Clark, I've known for quite a while that you're... well, *more* than what you appear to be. There are only so many miracles that can be taken on faith or as blind, stupid luck of being in the right place at the right time."

"I... but before... you looked so..."

"Poleaxed?" Lex allows himself a brief chuckle. "I was. I am, but not by the fact that you're different. It's that you're finally choosing to open up to me about it." He leaves out the part about Clark doing so after showing up on his lawn unannounced and stripping off half his clothing in the pouring down rain.

Clark shifts slightly, allowing some of the tension to dissipate from his form. Lex has to restrain himself from reaching across the short distance between them to brush away the strands of wet hair clinging to his forehead. "You're really okay with this? With me and the... stuff?"

It's a bit of a shock that his answer is a completely honest one. "Yes, I am."

"I... *God*. I thought that I'd waited too long. I've wanted to tell you for a long time but... I figured that you'd hate me for not trusting you the way you trusted me." Desolate, confused eyes searching his through the curtain of rain. "Why? Why do you trust me when all I did was lie, over and over again?"

That made the honesty even easier, and Lex wondered if it could become a habit. "I don't know. It's not like trust has ever been effortless for me before." Not before Clark. Not with anyone *but* Clark. "Maybe it's that pattern you have of saving my life on a regular basis."

A lopsided smile crosses Clark's face but doesn't reach his eyes. "You saved me too, but I..."

"Hiding is a hard habit to break. I know."

"I'm still hiding things from you. There's... more, but I..."

Lex hopes he's successful in masking the avaricious curiosity running through his mind. He learned a long time ago that pushing Clark too hard only lead to the invisible wall dropping down behind his eyes. "You've just trusted me enough to tell me that you killed a man, and I didn't run screaming. That should convince you there's nothing you could say to ruin our friendship. What could possibly be a bigger secret than that?"

Clark lets out a pained, humorless laugh, and Lex hates how wrong it sounds. Like it should be coming from Lex instead, because Clark doesn't do misery and never should. "You have no idea."

Lex can almost see the excuses forming in Clark's head. He doesn't want to hear them, can't take the return of the lies when he's become instantly addicted to Clark's truth, even if it's incomplete. He grabs Clark's wrist and tugs, gesturing toward the house with his head. "Come inside. Let's get you dried up and on your way home before your parents file a missing person's report."

He's surprised when Clark quickly reverses the grasp, fingers closing around Lex's wrist and aborting his attempt to stand. Lex wonders if Clark can feel his pulse racing under the skin, and the hold releases far too soon for Lex's liking. "They're why I can't tell you the rest."

Lex has almost forgotten what it's like to actively pursue the approval of a parent, but a flash of his mother's smile in his mind brings it back. "You don't want to defy them."

"That's part of it, but... no. It's that..." Clark grinds his teeth and hits the ground with a balled fist. "I hate this."

And Lex knows how to be patient when it matters. "You don't have to decide anything right now, Clark. It won't be the end of the world if you can't sort this out today."

Clark raises his head again, eyes slowly trailing lines that feel like heat on Lex's body, stopping when they lock on his. "The only time I know what I want is when I talk to you. It's so clear right now."

The calm relaxation on Clark's face makes it clear that Lex won't be getting any more truth today, but he also doesn't look like he's about to run off. So, the relief is of the double-edged kind, but it's there. "I'm glad I could help, though I don't have any idea what I said to help you choose between your parents' wishes and-"

Fingers against his mouth stop the words. "No. That's not it, Lex. It's not about them. It's about you."

Something in Clark's eyes, in the way that his fingers just *don't* move from Lex's lips, sends a current of awareness through his veins. God... not this. He can't take this now. Hand around Clark's wrist, not expecting the resistance when he tries to pull the hand away. "Clark..."

Fingers stroking lazily now, still resisting the tug of Lex's hand without much visible effort. "There aren't any questions here. I don't have to worry about making the wrong choice or someone getting hurt, because it's different with us." Eyes drifting up from Lex's lips, and he's losing the will to fight this. He's been fighting himself for so long, and he doesn't have the strength left to fight Clark, too. "Lex... you want me."

It's not a question, but he answers anyway. "Yes."

Clark gently pressing two fingers inside Lex's mouth, and he can't resist the urge to nip and lick at them before they retreat to trace across his rain soaked lips again. "From the beginning."

"Yes."

Smiling and eyes still focused on Lex's lips. "I knew. Always. Did you know that I knew it?"

Honesty is a bad choice right now, but -- "Yes."

Clark's eyes finally lifting, burning into his, and Lex thinks that honesty is less a habit than a habit-forming drug when he sees it shining back at him through the faded light of the rain-soaked atmosphere. "And I... I want you to have me."

And that's... he's not sure he heard that right. "Clark? I don't-"

"I do." Another unreadable smile, and Clark's fingers trace the seam of Lex's lips again. "I want to give you this, because it's what you want. And I... I just want to *feel* for a while. I don't want to think and I don't want to worry. I just want to touch you." Clark's other hand is reaching down and cupping him through the drenched wool of his pants, stroking with firm confidence. Lex is losing the fight completely and he doesn't care. Losing is winning, just this once. "I want you to take this, Lex. Anything you want."

Hard swallow to dislodge the lump in his throat enough to speak around it. "Why?"

"Because you give me everything and you never ask for anything in return. Because this is the one thing I can give that you won't refuse to take from me. Because I want to." Hand slipping away from Lex's mouth as Clark's hands reach around to cup his ass and pull them together, tight and hard and fast. Mouth lowering to catch the gasp that escapes Lex and breathing it back into him. "I just want to *feel*, Lex. Use me."

Lex would worry about it later.

Later would be soon enough to find a way to justify this. For now, he's going to close his eyes and take what Clark is offering.

Just *take* it.

Tasting the soft lips with his, slow and gentle, because he wants to do everything and this might be the only chance he ever has. Playing on the outside, lightly stroking Clark's lips with his teeth and tongue, greedily sucking in the little whimper Clark makes when he does that. Mouth open, hot and waiting under his, but Lex is taking his time with this. Learning the textures just inside by running the tip of his tongue along the ridge of parted teeth, dipping further in to stroke along the palate.

Clark's hands clench on his ass, and it's a breathtaking jolt to Lex's sense of control to feel the erection rubbing against his. Hard heat leeching through two sets of wet material and setting fires underneath his skin. Statements of altruistic motives aside, Clark wants this, too. Clark *wants* him.

And that shatters the last of Lex's resistance.

His hands are clenching in Clark's hair, twisting to sharpen the angle and every trace of curious exploration is gone. He's marking now, thrusting his tongue in fiercely as a brand and practically fucking Clark's mouth with his. Clark, who shudders against him and -- *fuck* -- starts an unsteady thrusting with his hips. Starting to suck on Lex's tongue, then, God *yes*, tasting it. Clark fluttering the tip of his tongue on the underside of Lex's and then pushing, shoving back to claim Lex's mouth this time. Mapping and scorching with hot licks that are driving Lex out of his mind.

As if he had any claim on sanity left before that.

He drops his hands from Clark's head to the hem of his t-shirt, tugging the sodden garment up and finally off when Clark raises his arms. Raindrops cascading down that bare chest something Lex needs to know the taste of, and he leans forward to bathe the flesh in long strokes. He vaguely feels Clark's hands working at removing his own shirt, but he can't focus on anything as trivial as his clothing at the moment. Years of obsession and fantasizing brought down to a fevered moment under a deluge, and he's not about to waste it.

Lex could get lost in this and never come out and not give a good damn. The flavor of grief and guilt still lingers in a patina over Clark's skin, resistant to the cleansing fall of the rain. Lex takes care to stroke and lick every inch until the phantoms recede. He can feel it the moment that it happens, Clark's breath catching on a groan, and there's nothing left behind but the aching need that builds with every touch.

Clark pressing him to his back on the lawn and his shirt has disappeared, leaving the chill of the damp grass to shock his skin until Clark covers him. Heat and wet merging, the sweat of sex fighting a battle against cool rain, but Clark is sheltering him now. Lex's hands run up the arms braced at his sides, skimming across the sharp indentations above his collarbones, then down across the firm muscles of Clark's back. Further down and cupping, spreading his legs wide and pushing up with his hips as he pulls down and forward.

That groan of pleasure Clark makes is addictive. Needs to hear it again, so he shifts his hips and thrusts up again, hard and fast. Clark's hands covering his, pulling them up and around to nip lightly at the pulse points in Lex's wrists, and Lex is the one moaning now.

Clark staring at him, lust darkening his eyes when he leans down. A kiss that burns before Clark traps both wrists against the grass above Lex's head. Shifting the grip so one hand can hold them both still, and Clark's other hand drifts slowly toward Lex's waist. "*Fuck*... Clark, let me-"

"No." Firm denial as Clark's hand works the fastening of Lex's slacks. "This is for you, Lex. I forgot myself for a minute there."

Jesus Christ. How can Clark look so completely earnest and so fucking *wanton* at the same time. "Touching you *is* what I want, Clark. I thought I'd made that obvious."

A little head shake. "Later." And thoughts of argument disappear when Clark's hand slips inside the open fabric of Lex's slacks to pull his cock free. Hand closing firmly around the shaft and stroking up slowly, reaching the top and circling the head with his thumb. Lex's hips arch up off the ground with the intensity of the sensations, but Clark is still going slowly, driving him out of his mind with the slow strokes that smear the pre-come across the tip of his cock.

Wordless and aching for more, Lex gives a few shallow thrusts into the tight clasp of the wet, hard sheath of Clark's hand. Rainwater reducing the friction to just beneath a threshold of pain, and Clark is watching him. Fascinated, hot eyes traveling over Lex's body, and he nearly screams when Clark lifts his hand away. Can't hold back the moan when Clark raises the thumb to his mouth and licks off the pre-come, then sucks the digit into his mouth for a more thorough cleansing. "*Clark*..."

Thumb leaving his mouth with a wet pop, and Clark grins down at him. "Yeah. I've got you." Lex's hands are freed when Clark shifts position, moving to lie between Lex's splayed legs. Before Lex can do more than reach for him, Clark has one hand around the root of his dick and the kiss-swollen, red lips descend...

Blinding flash of light behind Lex's eyes when moist heat of Clark's mouth closes around the head of his cock. Tongue stroking with lazy thoroughness all around, tasting and teasing and playing lightly with the slit. Moving down further, taking more of him in, and Lex thrusts upward blindly, needing more. Needs everything, and Clark gives it, open and hot and hungry around him. Licking giving way to a sucking pressure now, and Lex can feel electric shocks every time his thrusting brings the head of his cock in contact with the back of Clark's mouth.

He's wanted this too long for it to last, not this first time, and his hands pull out tufts of damp grass when his fists clench in the soil. Thrusting and burning and the tension inside him snaps wide open when he comes. Pouring out into Clark's mouth, and he can't feel anything else now, the universe narrowing down to humidity and pressure and spears of mind shattering pleasure. Clark's tongue pushing up against Lex's cock when he swallows extends the climax past what Lex had believed possible, and he feels one more burst expel from him before he stiffens totally, then collapses on the ground.

When he opens his eyes, Clark is kissing his abdomen, working his way up to Lex's chest and licking. Finally coming to rest over him again, rainwater dripping in a steady stream from Clark's hair onto Lex's face as he leans down for a kiss. Lips exploring slowly, and Lex is grateful for that since he's still trying to catch his breath.

Suddenly recalled to the situation by the feel of Clark's erection against his hip, and he lowers a hand to close around it. Clark gasping a little, rubbing against the pressure, and Lex murmurs, "I think I've earned the right to touch you now. Let's get these pants off you."

And that's the last thing he would have expected to cause Clark to withdraw from him, but that's exactly what happens. Clark pulling back to sit on the grass next to Lex's hip, drawing his knees up in front of him. Almost as though he's trying to protect himself from something. "No. That's... No."

Lex presses up to a sitting position, moving so that he can face Clark directly. Uses a finger to tilt Clark's head up so he can see his eyes. "Clark? What's wrong."

"I don't want to hurt you. I'm not sure I can... control myself if... if you..."

Lex tries to hide his bemusement and hopes that he's managing it, because his mind is racing. He'd just assumed... "Clark, are you still a virgin?"

"I've never been with a guy before, if that's what you're asking."

Cute attempt at an evasion, but this is too important for Lex to let it slide. "No, I'm asking if you've ever had sex with another person."

Clark is blushing, seems to be searching for the correct response, which is an answer in and of itself. "I'm not completely... I've done... um..."

"Clark, you just sucked me off. I think it's a little late to be getting shy about sex talk." And damn it, that just deepened the blush and stiffened Clark's defensive posture. He'd been hoping that a tease might loosen Clark up a bit, not have the opposite effect. "I didn't mean to embarrass you. I just-" Lex sighs and runs a hand over his head. "You dated Chloe for over six months. I assumed that-"

Clark's scoff stops any further words. "You and everyone else. People figured we broke up because I wanted to have sex and she wouldn't do it. It was the opposite." Clark pauses, biting at his lip. "I... I would touch her, do things to her, but I wouldn't let her touch me. I was afraid I'd hurt her. When I couldn't tell her why..."

Lex can almost hear the conversation in his head. He and Clark could have ended up having another version of it if post-funeral trauma hadn't driven Clark here when he was too vulnerable to keep hiding. "She couldn't deal with the fact that you didn't trust her enough to explain."

Clark nods, then raises his eyes to Lex's. "It can be different for us, right? You know why I can't-"

"I think you can."

Blinking back at Lex with shock and maybe the beginnings of hope. "I... how do you know?"

"I don't know for sure, but it's logical. I assume that you've touched yourself before."

Another blush. "Well... um, yeah. That was different. I know I can't hurt myself."

"Okay, but what else happened when you came."

"I don't-"

"Any mass destruction? Furniture broken, holes in walls, that kind of thing?"

Clark's laughing now, and Lex feels relief break over him at the sound. "Of course not."

"Then what makes you think being with a person would be any more likely to cause damage?"

Clark blinks again, confusion giving way to belief. "I... I guess I just assumed. I was too afraid to take a risk on hurting Chloe."

Lex pulls one of Clark's hands up to his lips, mouthing the fingers gently. "I know what I'm getting into, Clark. I'm willing to take a risk. Are you?"

Clark's tongue flicks out to wet his lip, eyes hooding slightly. "I... God, Lex. Are you sure? I don't want to hurt you either."

Lex smiles, using the hand he's holding to pull Clark toward him. "I'm sure. I have a lot of practice at testing limits. We can put that to good use. Just trust me to do this for you."

And when Clark grins, pouncing on Lex and tumbling him backward into the wet grass, they both laugh into the cleansing shield of the spring rain.

-- The End --

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